The Dangers of Excess, and the Fear of Loss

"The things we own, end up owning us" - Tyler Durden

The more things we have, the more we worry about losing them. This can be quite the curse for a lot of people, whose fear of losing what they have can take over their lives and control how they act and live.

But we shouldn't let fear of loss affect us. Instead, we should be happy that we have that fear, since it means we're lucky enough to have something worth losing. If we're afraid to lose something, it means we're glad that thing is in our lives, and we should be happy about that, not worried about losing it.

 Another reason not to worry about losing what we have is that we've gotten along without it just fine in the past. We may be afraid of losing our homes, our jobs or even our partners. But that's when you have to remember that you've gotten by without those things before - the only difference now is that you've gotten used to the luxury of excess.

The luxury of excess

You've gotten used to living a certain way, with everything you have now. You've long since left behind the life where you didn't have these things. And that's why it would hurt so much to lose the things you have now and revert back to where you used to be. The higher you climb, and the more things you gather, the more afraid you'll be to lose it all.
 
But behind all this excess, there are the basics that are enough; your body, your mind, and your gathered knowledge and experiences. Anything you have over that is purely excess, and more than you need. Sure, it's nice to have more than that (and probably necessary too), but my point is that you shouldn't worry about losing something above this level, because as long as you still have these basics, you can always get back what you lost.

Interactive Example

Let's have a little example. Imagine yourself having a luxurious castle. How would you feel right now if I told you that your castle had suddenly been taken away from you forever? You probably wouldn't feel very strongly about it.

But let's say the same thing happened to your current house, or apartment. You would probably feel a bit more devastated about losing that, wouldn't you? Strange.. Why is that?

Well, to explain it, we'll have to imagine that our lives are made up from different levels, which we get used to over time. Say that you're on level 10 right now, which represents your life as it is at the moment, with everything you have. You've probably gotten used to this level, and accepted the things you have right now as part of your life. You're happy that you've climbed up from the previous levels, and never want to go back down there.

Now let's bring the castle back into the picture. That's level 11, a level which you haven't climbed to yet. You haven't left level 10 behind you, and since you haven't done that, it didn't hurt at all when you fell right back to it when you lost your imaginary castle.
 
 But if you were to lose your apartment, you would be devastated, since it would mean you would fall right back down to a level which you've left behind long ago. It would mean losing the level which you're so accustomed to by now.
 
You've gotten used to the higher level, and therefore, it will hurt so much more to fall back down to a lower one. This is one of the main contributors to the fear of loss that a lot of people experience.

Living on the Basic Level

Therefore, to get rid of the fear of loss, you need to change the way you look at things. You need to see it as if you keep living on the very simplest level, where you take only your body, mind and experiences/knowledge for granted. You should treat anything above this level as excess.

And since it's excess, and you're already at the most basic level in your mind, losing these things wouldn't cause you a lot of pain. That way, you won't have to be so afraid of losing what you have, and your fear of loss will be far less severe.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't care about anything you have, or treat them lightly - far from it! You should be grateful for what you have, and appreciate how lucky you are to have it. You just shouldn't let the fear of losing what you have control you or the way you live.